#Idk PTSD or something

[manwiththemagic]

Sometimes I write what I think peak poetry is, and wanna share it but it be a little too intimate to my personal thoughts and feelings and honestly that upsets me. Why does inspiration strike me when I have not the mental means to share it?

Lmao???

[3liza]

some of the people who post on lost media forums about being traumatized for 40 years from seeing a mildly "scary" or even just suspenseful scene from a movie when they were a young child sound like they have clinical symptoms of rumination OCD and/or non-complex PTSD and should maybe get standard therapy about it.

having moments of fear that imprint on you for the rest of your life, even if the moment isn't scary in retrospect or doesn't "seem" like it should have affected you so much is normal for kids, it's just part of your brain development at that age to be very very squishy and impressionable, and I'm not sure if "fear periods" is a thing in human child development like it is with dogs but children under the age of around five do seem to go through weeks or months at a time where they're just suddenly scared of everything for no reason and I think probably a lot of these inexplicably traumatic exposures occur in these periods. anyway there are good therapeutic techniques for this specific kind of trauma and they help a lot.

some of these people describe having intrusive thoughts about this stuff or obsessively looking for the media or asking people about it inappropriately in settings where it isn't acceptable socially. if you're haunted by something like that to that extent it's no longer just an interesting lost media post, it's something you should and can get professional help with.

i also suspect a lot of the more severe cases experienced an actual, worse trauma that is just associated with the lost media they're describing and they haven't been able to connect the dots yet or maybe haven't fully recalled the actual primary event. not "repressed memory" stuff, but often a child brain doesn't register a traumatic event AS traumatic until years later when you'll remember something fucked up happened to you that you wrote off as a normal event at the time, maybe even something everyone dealt with, but really screwed you up, and only recalling it in the right circumstances and context will allow your adult self to recognize it was harmful

OCD can also turn an actual not-a-big-deal incident into a source of unreasonable fear, preoccupation, avoidance and rumination.

anyway this just occurred to me watching a YouTube video in the background where yet another person describes typical trauma symptoms around a very tame "horror" scene that they have been dealing with daily since they were four or five. that's not normal and there are ways to process it with with help from someone! this is a type of trauma (single incident trauma) which is easier to treat and get rid of as an adult than stuff thats a repeated exposure or living situation type trauma (like domestic violence or childhood neglect). you don't have to deal with it on your own

[the-bi-space-ace]

Okay I’m going to talk about cutting off Crosshair’s hand because while I know plenty of people see a lot of symbolism in it and think it was a good decision I have things to say about it.

I have CPTSD which has a lot of different symptoms. One of them is trembling or shaking. There’s a lot of complexities tied up in it but I’m not going to go into more detail because it’s not a fun thing to talk about.

What I liked about Crosshair’s trauma was that it impacted him not only mentally and emotionally but also physically. It’s very representative of what it’s actually like dealing with symptoms from something like PTSD and CPTSD (there are differences between these two that I won’t go into rn). I loved that we got to see a physical symptom of something psychological. It’s so rare that it’s handled well. Because yeah meditation and safety will help, certainly, but oftentimes it’s not the end all be all. I’m safe. I’m protected. I take care of my mental well being. But I still have symptoms that say the opposite. Because it’s not as simple as ‘no longer in the bad situation therefore the symptoms will stop’. I’ve made my peace that it’s lifelong and, honestly, Crosshair’s symptoms would be lifelong as well.

Cutting off his hand…

Here’s the thing.

The show really makes it seem like cutting off his hand is something he needed to move forward. He needed to be rid of the symptom because it was a physical reminder and it was holding him back from moving on. Cutting off the hand means no more shaking which means he’s healed. No more shaking hand=no more trauma. He can finally move on with his life.

And to that I say ouch.

There’s been plenty of times my symptoms are inconvenient to myself or others. Times when I wish I could just make it stop. Times when I’m terrified that it’s holding me back and I’m screwed up and that’s all I’ll ever be: broken. There are plenty of times I know people wish i could just knock it off and get over it and cut it out but that’s not how it works. Like I said. I’ve made peace with this thing that’ll be with me forever.

It was refreshing to see him try to adapt to dealing with it instead of ignoring it or trying to get rid of the part of him that was hurting. I loved that. It was such a freeing thing to see. Someone who will live with the hurt and the symptoms and it doesn’t make him any less. It just makes him have to do life a little different.

I hate that they cut off his hand. I hate that it wasn’t handled with any sort of nuance or delicacy. And I hate that this thing that made me so proud of him, so proud to share something with him, just got cut off for… what? Shock? To ‘fix’ him?

If we had gotten more time with the loss of his hand maybe I’d feel differently. Hell, I’d love to see how Crosshair adapts to losing his hand, see how he learns to accommodate. It would give him and Echo something to bond over and talk about, finding healing with each other. I think this could’ve been done well. I’d still be on the fence about it but I would’ve held my breath and saw how it played out.

I fully expect people to roll their eyes at me here. I expect that people will say that I just don’t get it or that this isn’t what they intended. I’m sure this isn’t what they intended. At least I hope it isn’t. But what they intended doesn’t change how insensitively this was handled after a whole season of him unpacking his hurt and trying to learn to adapt to it. No one reacted to it, not even Crosshair, and we got no unpacking of what happened. I’m not happy with this but it is what it is I guess.

[vnknowv]

What half of Tumblr says about Dexter

[eddiewithcat]

cannot explain but

did anyone else get super “just make sure that you’re following your heart, not christopher’s okay?” vibes

…from maddie’s “and if there is something you need to tell eddie.. you will. just, in your own time” ?????

because they hold the same amount of weight for entirely different reasons, yet they both talk about the confusion of feelings…

[spaciebabie]

something that has been happening 2 me frequently for like years now and i have no clue why b/c irl i look like the most normal person on this earth

[qoldenskies]

Is the lamp incident more traumatic than the docks to Donnie?

i mean despite both incidents being violent i'd say they're too drastically different to properly compare, but i kind of started it by saying the ch11 is Up There, so im gonna go with a reluctant yes.

and i'd mostly say that because the whole thing in the hallway is up there is something insanely traumatic too, and he woke up from that resurfacing memory, immediately broke something, and in a daze believed they were going to HURT him for it. and then they started screaming and pounding on the door, and raph broke it down (there are several reasons that would absolutely terrify him to see), and they held him down as he was bleeding out and begging for them to stop. he actually remembers it pretty clearly. it was just as horrible for him as it was for everyone else.

the moment on the docks was very brief, enough for him to be able to get back up and continue to keep fighting. in the moment he was only shaken and winded, it only set in afterwards how close he was to death as he looked back on it. it was so big to him because it was the first time he really confronted this fear head-on (well, it was mentioned in CL that he had existential terror very young, he didn't handle it well when he realized he was mortal cause a lot of people have that moment when we're kids. but the docks makes him confront how that relates to crime-fighting and the perpetual danger they're in now. it made it all feel so real) it influences a lot of how he acts in CL because of his shame for being traumatized-- it's more about the realization of the danger he was in overall, and how fragile his life actually was, not a particular fear of the shredder or belief he was going to be hurt exactly like that again.

at least in the whole three day fight, he knew he had his brothers to lean on. it was terrifying but he knew he had people in his corner that could defend him when he couldn't defend himself-- even when he had passing doubts (bpd moment, theyre inevitable) it was easy to rationalize it away. but when it comes to almost everything that happens in cc? he was alone. and even if he wasnt, and they were trying to help, he barely processed it. and when everything with the lamp happened he only thought they were breaking down his door to kill him.

[zeb-z]

the realization that the eggs have been gone since before etoiles started showing corruption from the code. what do you mean pomme was worried because of the code cracks over his eye?what do you mean it hasn’t been there this whole time? what do you mean time had passed without them, and they cannot just pretend like there weren’t changes to both parent and child in their absence?

[not-poignant]

Happy New Year! My question is for Arden in Falling Falling Starz. Does he compartmentalise when he practices Judo? I’ve never done Judo but I’ve done Jiujitsu and there is a lot of touching in that sport that I would think falls into his hard limit touching.

There is a ton of grappling in judo!

But it doesn't trigger Arden. First, he's very competent at it, so he's actually confident he can throw just about anyone that comes at him, and when he's putting himself in positions to be thrown it's specifically with newbies / people he's educating so he can control the situation.

Second, he started learning before he was molested/assaulted, so his associations with the dojo, and that kind of touch/pressure/movement, were already firmly in place as something safe and fun.

Third, it's non-sexual!

Fourth, triggers aren't logical. This one should probably have gone first, because it's the most important one. Triggers aren't logical. As an example, I have a C-PTSD and PTSD from a lot of different things, and as an example of a hit-and-miss trigger around surgical trauma, I can't watch any reality TV about medical stuff or surgeries but I can watch medical dramas if they're fictional and handle people talking about medical stuff they've gone through. I don't know why reality TV is the hard line, and I don't need to, and no one else needs to, that's where the trigger manifests (that and in real hospitals). You'd assume, using your logic, that because there's a lot of exposure to medical stuff and graphic surgical depiction in fictional TV on the subject, or in friends talking about it in detail, I'd find it equally as triggery but I don't not only find it less triggery, I don't find it triggery at all. That part of my brain simply doesn't wake up, and has zoned it into the safe zone.

Triggers don't have to be consistent - in fact it's more realistic if they're not.

Judo is a non-sexual sport that was brought into Arden's life before he was hurt by his brother, where Arden is very competent and knows what he's doing. Despite the proximity and physical closeness, judo helped Arden to feel safe and protected, especially in the chaotic aftermath of what happened to him. And also: triggers do not give the smallest shit about being consistent and/or logical. Like, sometimes, they do! And sometimes it's just...they do not care.

[craptainkirk]

Part of the reason i like captain kirk as a character is that he will put everything on the line on the CHANCE that something can be done. He's always thinking that there has to be a way, and if not they'll create one. He's also so feelings-oriented and will fall back on his hunches when needed and his hunches are in fact treated as something sacred. I'm the same way in every regard and it's something i've always been criticized heavily for (I've constantly been told that i don't think things through and i'm chastised for being reckless). But that's how captain kirk is and he's treated as if that's his own unique genius. He's respected for it and we can see how if he weren't to take the risks that he does then they'd all be doomed in so many situations. This isnt really well written but im just thinking out loud here... ok... End post

[druidshollow]

i gave the fucking robots ptsd guys

[la-principessa-nuova]

oh cool i can put off the thing i was feeling guilty about not doing until tomorrow now bc it’s too late

[ruruumin]

partially venting // i think i've come to the conclusion that the reason why i avoid watching/engaging in anything that my friends recommend is because i associate that material with them (ex: frieren/etc), and if they leave or things change i won't enjoy it anymore

therefore i have to touch or get into something first, so it has association with myself, and won't be changed even if someone else leaves

[thefloatingstone]

idk it's 2am. YOU guys caption this one.

[tj-crochets]

so in the past I have made themed gifts for people who have helped me* and it's been a little weird but like. Understandable to the person I am gifting the thing to weird? My current problem is that I want to make something for my endocrinologist because he has improved my quality of life hugely** but endocrinology doesn't have an easily themed gift and my endocrinologist reminds me very very strongly of like a sad greyhound or a whippet but I cannot explain to this very nice, very normal man that "hey I made you a plushie of a dog because I wanted to thank you for the steroids and you remind me of a dog. In a good way!" *like teeth plushies for the dentist who helped me figure out I have to have dental anesthetic without epinephrine in it, or a chicken plushie for the people at the chicken restaurant that went the extra mile to get their ingredients list that were the reason I figured out I'm allergic to coconut **I had what would have been a severe allergic reaction and it wasn't pleasant but I didn't end up in the hospital and I didn't take like a week minimum to recover and

[chimerafflesia]

joker folie a deux out soon. will be mentally preparing for the "I want a relationship like harley and the joker" crowd to reemerge